Sunday, June 28, 2009
Thursday, June 4, 2009
My Lame Ass Date With Earl...
So I see people use these little blog things to vent and rant...well I've got some shit to say! lol
Lets see here.....hmmm...well I went on the BEST date with the LAMEST guy the other day. So this guy, who I'll refer to as EARL, because that's what we call lames, asked me out. Now I had been kind of avoiding him because....well honestly...I just don't find him attractive! period. However, I was like "hey" I'm home from college...whats the worse that could happen? Well apparently the answer to that question is HE COULD BE LAME AS HELL!
Let me give you the run down. Here in Charleston we have a big art festival, Spolletto. (real cultural experience...step your culture game up) So Earl asked if he could take me to a few shows. Cool. I should have known something was up when he came to pick me up early..... Who does that? I'm not even gonna mention what he had on...boooo to his fashion. So we get there....EARLY...so we have drinks at a really nice restaurant on King St., Fish.
Now I'm gonna pause right have and give you a disclaimer.....I don't drink cheap liquor. I just think that is rude, crude, and socially unacceptable. HOWEVER, for this occasion I didn't want to come across as the boujee bitch I know this person thinks I am.
So when the waitress asked what I wanted I asked for an apple martini w/ house liquor. I figure, we're in the ritzy part of town, the worse the house liquor could be is Sky(which in my opinion is sub par but whatever)....Please tell me why Earl orders the same thing...a man sipping an apple martini.....booo to his drink choice.....So its time to head out this dude leaves a $5 tip. Why? We only had time for one drink! So now you stuntin?
Fast forward....first show is over...Its time to get the tickets for the next show....Why is this nigga short on his cash and ask me for a dollar?!?!?! Really? Booooo to your brokeness! Now I'm a thorough chick, I didn't stunt on him. I gave him the dollar but I had a sour taste in my mouth at that point. Nevertheless, we get in the show and he says, "I'm all out of cash, I wanted to get a beer" {insert my infamous stink face} Was that a request? Nigga you asked ME out! The sad part is he kept repeating himself as if I should say, "oh I'll get us something more to drink" Booooo to that lame ass assumption! I don't come out of pocket on the first date....shit on any date for that matter! lol
The whole time I'm sitting with Earl, all I could think of was the at least three other people that would have made this rather creative date better. He got points for creativity but ended up in the negatives with his lame behavior. Lets just go ahead and say he took me straight home afterwards. I couldn't take it. One more second and I would have pulled a Coyote Ugly and bit my damn arm off!
So that was my date with Earl.....Booo to his LAMENESS
Lets see here.....hmmm...well I went on the BEST date with the LAMEST guy the other day. So this guy, who I'll refer to as EARL, because that's what we call lames, asked me out. Now I had been kind of avoiding him because....well honestly...I just don't find him attractive! period. However, I was like "hey" I'm home from college...whats the worse that could happen? Well apparently the answer to that question is HE COULD BE LAME AS HELL!
Let me give you the run down. Here in Charleston we have a big art festival, Spolletto. (real cultural experience...step your culture game up) So Earl asked if he could take me to a few shows. Cool. I should have known something was up when he came to pick me up early..... Who does that? I'm not even gonna mention what he had on...boooo to his fashion. So we get there....EARLY...so we have drinks at a really nice restaurant on King St., Fish.
Now I'm gonna pause right have and give you a disclaimer.....I don't drink cheap liquor. I just think that is rude, crude, and socially unacceptable. HOWEVER, for this occasion I didn't want to come across as the boujee bitch I know this person thinks I am.
So when the waitress asked what I wanted I asked for an apple martini w/ house liquor. I figure, we're in the ritzy part of town, the worse the house liquor could be is Sky(which in my opinion is sub par but whatever)....Please tell me why Earl orders the same thing...a man sipping an apple martini.....booo to his drink choice.....So its time to head out this dude leaves a $5 tip. Why? We only had time for one drink! So now you stuntin?
Fast forward....first show is over...Its time to get the tickets for the next show....Why is this nigga short on his cash and ask me for a dollar?!?!?! Really? Booooo to your brokeness! Now I'm a thorough chick, I didn't stunt on him. I gave him the dollar but I had a sour taste in my mouth at that point. Nevertheless, we get in the show and he says, "I'm all out of cash, I wanted to get a beer" {insert my infamous stink face} Was that a request? Nigga you asked ME out! The sad part is he kept repeating himself as if I should say, "oh I'll get us something more to drink" Booooo to that lame ass assumption! I don't come out of pocket on the first date....shit on any date for that matter! lol
The whole time I'm sitting with Earl, all I could think of was the at least three other people that would have made this rather creative date better. He got points for creativity but ended up in the negatives with his lame behavior. Lets just go ahead and say he took me straight home afterwards. I couldn't take it. One more second and I would have pulled a Coyote Ugly and bit my damn arm off!
So that was my date with Earl.....Booo to his LAMENESS
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