Smash & Trash!

Sooo its been a minute but I'm backkkkkkkkk!

The topic for the blog is smashin! For the less colloquially inclined....smashing is a term used to described a sexual encounter w/ the opposite (shiitttt or same) sex. After years of discussion and debate I think its time to put some common misconceptions about smashing to rest. First and foremost, I want to make it clear that I am NO prude by any stretching of the word. I like to smash just like the next warm blooded mammal! However, in my short 25 years I've learned that although enjoyable, it can be rather complicated if you don't know the rules! *yes there are rules!!*

Rule #1!

• Sometimes its just a Smash&Trash! Period! Nothing more...nothing less...Thank you and GOODNITE!

Rule #2!

• What you don't have before the SMASH...you won't have after the SMASH!

Like I said, I'm not prude but I am a realist. Men and sex can be compared to kids and dessert. The same way you don't give your toddler their pudding cup before their broccoli, is the same way you don't give a man your goodies before you know what's good. Sex can and will stunt the growth of a relationship if it is not clear where its headed.

Rule #3!

• Don't talk that FREAKY shit to me!

I said some ish today and I didn't even realize how real it was until after I said it. I said, "You should not talk about sex with anybody that you're not ALREADY sleeping with". The shit is so real because its true! Sexual CONVERSATION is only used to test the temperature of the situation. He just trying to see if you're "bout that life" lol! If we're going to take our relationship to the next level....we will JUST DO IT!

That's all for now...I'm sleepy....but I'll be back TTYL

Always

It feels kinda weird. Its been over. But now its really over. Separated by feelings and now distance. Closing this chapter of my life. Love you. Goodnite.

NEVER

Never let someone be make you responsible for their piss poor behavior. That is all.

Hi I'm a Junkie

I'll admit

I walked gingerly thorough the gateway...

Got high of his aroma, one hit and I knew he was going places

And I wanted to follow

Kept getting chocolate wasted

Every time inhaling a little longer

Holding these feelings trapped in my lungs

Every time a little longer....it felt so good....

Eventually I needed more

So I sprinkled the powder on the table

And snorted my way to ecstasy

I floated

In the clouds as the powder lined my noes

He had me wide open

Walking around in a constant state of euphoria

And then one day a hundred and fifty characters

No longer afforded me the bump I so desperately yearned for

My digital love affair was over

I knew I would have to take drastic measures

So I rolled up my sleeve

Tied myself off

Put the needle in my arm

I drifted into the imaginary world

Where him and I dance in the moonlight

Shared kisses over brunch

And never thought about goodbyes

But I was never satisfied

More demand and no supply

Nightmares about the inevitable

Waking up in cold sweats

But if I could just get one more hit......

I'm going through withdrawal

Vomiting my feelings

Insomnia holding these memories hostage in my brain

I can't stop the shakes

If I only I had turned my head,

"Hey this is Lance" is all I heard instead.

This is a helluva drug

Hi my name is Chantell and I'm an addict

#GTFOH

Ok, Ok. One more thing. Let the record reflect I'm not your fuckin problem. You have abso-FUCKIN-lutely no issue with me. Your issue is you detest all that I represent. I'm a single, educated black woman; full of spunk and I KNOW how to treat a man. You, you're cool too. I will not take one single solitary thing from you. You're a pretty girl with a lot going for yourself. You're only problem is you think I'M your problem.

I will reiterate, I'm not the issue. Your man is the issue. Did he tell you about how he strokes my hair and not my walls. Or how he grabs my cheeks---the ones on my face that is. I'm sure it bothers you that he enjoys my writing more than any half naked picture I could ever send. Or how he tells me about his dreams and aspirations not what he'd do if we were alone together. And we're were alone together we laugh uncontrollably and he looks deeeeeeeep in my eyes and has that look on his face like he got lost. And we can stand their for hours doing nothing except being.

He didn't have to tell you because you feel it in your spirit. Every text, every Facebook message, every email sent in the whee hours of the morning or the middle of the day, stand as a constant reminder that he just won't shake me.

I'm going to walk away again! Let's make this the FOURTH time, I've had to turn my feelings off for yours. Have at, sweetheart. He's my friend but your boyfriend nonetheless. Do me a favor. This time you tell him to stop talking to me, k? lol

Let's Be Honest

To be perfectly honest, I'm good. I just need to eliminate other people's bullshit from my life......thank you and God Bless.

(untitled)

And I'm just spilling over with emotion

Messed up and let him taste the potion

but I'm not trippin because I'm always coastin

Feelings kept in a box under my bed

I'm not stalking his life or making his wrongs right

Could give two shits about what he's doing tonight

Because my feelings are locked in a box

Under my bed

I'm just laying here wonder why I can see the forever

but the right now is stuck in a purgatory of

hell no and never

And I can't seem to rationalize all the rational lies I've heard and said

My feelings?

Check the box under my bed.

I just don't have time to teach myself how not to feel

So I locked away the emotions to avoid the motions

Of learning to deal.

Put them the safest place I know

Stashed away a foot and a half beneath my pillow.