Please Stop Playing in My Kitchen

Ok. So this was clearly a week of revelation and affirmation of what I will and will NOT tolerate from ANY man. With that being said I want to discuss this idea of men not wanting to be in relationships. They always say something like this:

"You know I'm not really ready for a relationship. If something happens it happens..."---bullshit!

What this translates to in girl talk is, "If you bend over backwards and hold me down I'll wife you."

What he's really saying is, "I'm telling you ahead of time not to catch feelings. More than likely this situation will not work out and when it does I am not responsible because I told you I wasn't looking for a girlfriend"

I always thought this was funny. Its funny because all it does is send a woman into overdrive. Now she's putting her best foot forward; doing everything to make him realize her potential. She's cooking, cleaning and pretty much playing wifey in order to get this dude to wife her. WRONG!!!!

I'm gonna go ahead and tell you that its not gonna work. Sorry.

Men thoroughly enjoy a relationship environment without with they deem as hassles. (hassles: nagging, being "locked down", drama) They want all of your feminine attributes. Your soft body, sensual tone, comforting words...and not to mention you know how to whip up a meal and do a lil laundry here and there. lol They love all of that.

So what do they do? They start pulling out the ingredients to get what they want.

Sugar: the sweet gestures; warm hugs; overall affirmation that you are a woman of substance

• This is how he makes you feel special. You're pretty certain he doesn't treat every other girl like this and you're probably right. This is his true nature...he loves to show love.
  

Flour: in public interaction; dates, outings, whatever you call it; you're not a booty call (in most situations) if he takes you out in public

• I put this under flour because flour is usually the most important ingredient. When you step outside, that's a whole other level! lol You holding hands w/ other couples in the movies. Its the part everybody sees.
  

Butter: Affection....that butta love! lol

• This is pretty self-explanatory. He rides you up (that's Charlestonian for having sex...lol), puts it on you right and you love it.
  

Eggs: this is what holds it together....consistency. He's always around, always calls, etc.

• In any recipe that calls for eggs you know the eggs hold things together. This is the bond. You can count on him, he's dependable. Naturally you like being with him.

When you put these things together, give or take a lil vanilla extract and baking powder, you're baking a cake. Not a rump roast, not broccoli casserole! CAKE! So don't be surprised when a woman whips that shit up and throws it in the oven! lol

A man? Oh he'll sit around and eat batter all day! Like a big damn kid! He's content. On the contrary, a woman is waiting for the ingredients to come together to be something more. We don't want no damn batter! However, we'll give a guy our good eggs, flour, butter and sugar hoping he'll see that the end product can be something special. l

Be careful who you let riffle through your pantry and use your ingredients. If the two of you aren't trying to create the same thing then you might need to excuse him out of your kitchen. Its okay to lick the beaters but who wants cake that never goes in the oven?